A true mother by GORGEOUSVIK

Motherhood is an assign ment. To any woman that fulfils this assignment, there is a reward from God. No one can replace a parent’s role in the life of a child. The outlook a child forms towards life depends a lot on the parent. Among the parent, the mother has a larger role to play in a child’s life. It is true that many women do not have any clue on what traits make a good mother. It’s possible to be a nanny, a good Aunty both in the classroom and at home but that does not qualify you a true mother.

There is a necessary ingredient in being a true mother that is flexibility. A true mother accepts flexibility as a responsibility irrespective of her temperament, career or background. It is a necessity for a mother to adjust her lifestyle to the current and ever changing needs of the child. I wouldn’t make a mistake if I say there are many who may have felt unloved and abandoned as kids, and this affects their lives as adults such that they do not even think of forgiving their parents. Below are some qualities of a true mother:

1.    Set a good example: Since the mother is the most important person in the life of a child, it is important for her to be a positive and moral role model and example that the child can readily look up to, honour, boast of and appreciate even when the mother is not around or is no more. Admit when you do something wrong and don’t be afraid or proud to apologize. Try to explain how and why you did what you did and why you think it is wrong or good. This teaches your child that no man is perfect, it also teach your child the importance of making apologies.

2.    Be there for the child: In the initial years of childhood, the child needs the mother more; not a babysitter. It is very important that a mother spends quality time with her child. A true mother is compassionate and gentle but firm in discipline. A good mother is always there when her child needs her and she puts her child’s needs above her own. She does not refer the child to a babysitter because such person may not have respect for your norms and values. A true mother does not abandon the child to the sister, Aunty or anybody that offers to help at home. A good mother is someone who is willing to be a shoulder to cry on and cling to in her child’s time of need. For instance, a true mother can afford carrying her child when she is back from work no matter how grimy the child may be.

3.    Love and Patience: A true mother’s love is unmatched. A true mother carries her baby in her womb, feeds the baby, protects the baby, undergo sleepless nights even when it is tedious doing those things. A true mother patiently carries her baby in her womb alone for the number of months and days the baby is meant to be in her womb without anybody assisting her for a second not to talk of an hour. A true mother endures all the suffering given to her by her child during the three trimesters of pregnancy. To a true mother, the child is special whether he/she is young or old, healthy or handicapped, troublesome or obedient. A true mother is not partial in her relationship with her children and she teaches them good manners and set values for them.

4.    Being Approachable: A true mother is a good listener as well. She spends quality time with her children; patiently listens to them when they talk and give them quality advice that will help them in negative circumstances. She is always an approachable person to her child and this helps the child to open up and share problems, instead of being secretive about what he/she does. A true mother takes interest in her child’s interest and makes an effort to know the child very well. Not having someone to talk to can cause a child to retire into a shell so try to talk to listen to your children talk about how they feel regularly. Also encourage and appreciate them when they develop good skills.

5.    Responsibility: Motherhood is a full time or perhaps a lifetime career. If you have brought the child into the world then be ready to accept the responsibilities that comes along with motherhood. Many a times, a mother has to give up a great deal for the sake of the child. She gives up her time, sleep, pleasures, money etc to ensure that the needs of the child are met. She remembers the special days of the child like birthdays and gives the child a sense of belonging by presenting gifts, celebrating or doing something unique to mark that day.

There is definitely an end to every beginning. Just as there is conception first in pregnancy, a mother must go through the tussles of child-upbringing before the joy of it will come at last. An Ibibio adage says that “eyen ado akod adubok” (A child is growing to take care of the parents). You lose nothing in sacrificing your time, energy and money, etc to be A TRUE MOTHER.
See you next week.