Aniefiok in a shrine

The word “every” has the same meaning as: all, each, full, total, entire, complete, all possible. It is used to say how often something happens or is done. The word is used with singular nouns to refer to all the members of a group of things or people – every single, everyone, every individual, one and all, all and sundry, the whole world.
Hi! Dear reader, do you believe that God created every thing? If you do, then it means you and I are among the created things. By the way, are you a good or a bad thing? Permit my apparent rudeness, crudeness, indecency or vulgarity. But, whether you are a living thing or a non-living thing, you are a thing. Yes, whether you join a rat race or not doesn’t change you from remaining a rat. Mr./Mrs. Something, are you righteous or evil? Whatever you claim you are or wherever you place yourself, you are a creature of the Uncreator Creator and, as Wale Adenuga describes you, you are only “a pencil in the hand of the Creator”. Know it, dear reader, that the men and women mentioned in the Bible, in the kuran or any Holy Writ, cum those outside, are but as you are. We are all God’s handiwork or handicraft. He made a wonderful construction of us (the men) then, with self-congratulations, He worked extra time using our ribs to form (not create) women. That’s why you see women so beautiful, sweet and tender. A round of applause for our great God, oh – Jare!

If you believe that God created great human beings like us, why then do you doubt that it is not the same God who created a lesser being like Satan? Are “greater than” and “lesser than” not parts of everything? Truly, darkness was in authority before God illuminated the universe with “Let there be light”? Who created that darkness? The book of Genesis tells us that when God began creating the heavens and the earth, the earth was a shapeless, chaotic mass, with the spirit of God brooding over the dark vapors. Then God looked over all that He had created (day, night, sky, seas, earth, vegetation, animals, fishes, firmament, man) and it was excellent in every way. Was not Lucifer God’s excellent creation? The book of books tells us that, before Lucifer rebelled to be tagged Satan or the devil, he was the heavenly Choir-master with the most wonderful voice ever heard of. King of melodies! If God created this Lucifer in His image and likeness, inserted in him a heart, mind, thoughts, senses, spirit of discernment and a share of His characteristics in which to use and dominate/subdue the earth, why blame Lucifer for his actions. Is he not an extension of God? Does he have the wisdom, knowledge, intelligence, astuteness, common sense, insight, understanding, sagacity or circumspection of his own to act otherwise? All that he has, all that he possesses, was given him by God… Maybe, I am reasoning unreasonably. Maybe I’m talking nonsense, gibberish, balderdash, rot, trash, poppycock, rubbish, bunkum. Maybe I am not a good preacher. Maybe I am drunk and lost. If I am “lost” but found, please, call 08020945205 to return me home. Above all, pray for me to return to my senses.
Akwa Ibom! My people! My people! We are right now searching for the best governor (Mr. Right?) for our State. We are shouting Dakkada (stand up) as if Ogbeha, Abbe, Adeusi, Ebiye, Nkanga, Isemin, Attah, Akpabio, were idly sitting before, or as if the citizens were crippled, feeble, disabled, defective or incapacitated. I wish that these men themselves who are dying to become Governors should show me just one other man who is better than each of them. That’s the man (not a desperado) that I will vote for – the type of man, according to Thomas that will come with a broom to sweep away ino ye nwo in our dear State.
Akwa Ibom people (including this Aniefiok) are saying that Chinedu Akpabio was a twinkle-twinkle little governor unfit for a State as good and great as ours. This perfect Governor from outer space that we are now looking for and the outgone devil, are they not God’s creatures? In as much as God is that primordial power and personal father who is everything and owns everything (you and I and he and she and they and us and kpukpuru) we are therefore the works of His hands. Our mistakes, and the way others see us, do not separate us from God’s love and His sheer grace. So, hush! “Judgment is mine, I shall repay”, says the Lord of hosts.
Father of all mercies, with a humble heart on bended knees, I beg of you, save our dear State. Grant us this, not because we deserve or merit it, but because we desperately need it. Thank you for answered prayers.
Last week, I wrote “ANIEFIOK ON PULPIT”. I was directing my preaching mainly to preachers themselves. I had thought I would have much condemnations than commendations from cynics and critics, but none came. Worried that I never had a reaction on such a sensitive subject matter, I sent esemesies to the best fan of my column, a Jehovah’s witness. I asked to know if she was angry with me over what I wrote about her church or Kingdom. Hear the good lady: “Hi! So sorry I didn’t reply to your messages. I’m one who doesn’t get angry anyhow. As a matter of fact, I forgot to buy the paper (Global Concord) that day. Whatever the case, it’s good to always stand for the truth. I commend your write-up. Cheers!. How relieved I was after reading that text. And what a hearty laugh that followed when Alhaji Abdulhahi, all the way from U.S, called and teased “Ani man, the Pastor!”
Today, I’m writing about Ekpo masquerade. A clear departure from the pulpit? Now, you have got the reason to nail me: “Last week, he wrote about God, today he is writing about a devilish Ekpo cult. Is he not a two-edged sword or Satan’s disciple?” you may ask. And I lecture you: A shrine is a holy place. It is a delubrum, a sanctuary, a tabernacle or sacred place, not a place or atrocity, heinousness, devilishness, wickedness, unrighteousness. If you must know this, Ekpo initiates keep their abang ukot (palm-wine pot) at the shrine free for pure-hearted drinkers. As Obong-ekpo (the leader of the Ekpo group) enlightened me, “anyone who hungers and thirsts (even the non-initiates) scoup from the pot and drink but, if they go there to poison others or carry out any evil intent, they are dead right there”. PDP! Power to the Ekpo People!
Personally, I used to ponder over the genuineness of these Ekpo members and tradomedcine practitioners in comparison with that of our much touted Men of God. I have a feeling that the former may have direct entry into heaven, leaving behind some of the later with their hateful, hideous, nefarious activities. Call me what you may, but, certainly, I’m not a phoney or pretender. I like Ekpo, Ekpe, Ataad, Akata, Nnabo, BikMasa, Ekong, Obon, Uko-Akpan, Ntok Odio-Odio, Ibom, Ebonyo (ekedi idem iban)… name them. I like them just for recreation, and they are our traditional religion, are they not? “Akpan Abasi”, one of the Ekpo helmsmen calls it “Born-come-see-mission”. But, if this inherited religion is not good for self-comportment and leisure, what about economy? Is our Ministry of Culture and Tourism not generating funds from there? Whether you are an Oyibo or a born-again or born-against, no matter how you pretend, Ekpo is one of our ways of life – our culture, our norm, our tradition. My South African brothers – players of ipitombi (Zulu Fun) – say: instead of ignoring the White Man’s religion and our traditional religion, it’s better to follow the middle role”.
Let me explain again why I write about this, that and the other. If Alhaji hears this, maybe he will change from calling me “AniMan, the Pastor” to “Ani, the everything man”: My column is labeled WISE AND OTHERWISE. My Editor-in-Chief, Solomon Johny, is used to addressing me as “Wise One”. No! He does not mean that I am wise or foolish, clever or stupid. Simply, he takes that as an abbreviation of WISE AND OTHERWISE. When I joined this league of fearless writers (my courage brothers), I came out with that name-tag for my column to show that I would not only praise Government like a bee, neither individuals, institutions, situations nor things, but would also swat them like mosquitoes, if necessary. Yes, I write this wise, that wise and the other wise – whichever direction, whatever comes. I write zigs and zags. Like drum beats, I write kpak and write kpum. Like Uncle Emmanuel Esifa, I write “Multiple Phases”; like Aunty Margaret Eshiet, I write “Sibaba-Sibaba”. I write about God, I write about Satan. Of course, you know the difference between the two and who to give your glory and honor to. I am only a general writer not a lop-sided journalist. Praise the Lord!
Last Monday, a man who sent a piece into our Features Column “Ekpo Culture And The Emergence of Colonial Rule” invited my colleague (Nsikak Etuk) and me. The aim of the invitation was to tell us to help publicize in glowing colors their Ekpo Festival which comes up every leap year. According to the man, Chief Okon Ibanga, he trusted in our tabloid, that’s why he invited us. For such patronage, we also promised to give his cultural group the widest coverage we would be able via our medium, the Internet or Social Media. Were you in Ifa Atai, Etoi, last Friday, September 25? Did you watch the carnival float through your television set or mobile cell phone device? The people of Ifa Atai, their visitors and friends were as high as a kite. They were on cloud nine; they were over the moon; they were jubilant; they were in the seventh heaven. Those who missed out are already nostalgic about the next outing. Indeed, we (Global Concord) we played our part and the coverage went viral.
To put you in another lighter mood, my colleague saw the chairman of the Ekpo group clad in a black and red gown with an insignia of a human skull. Three crosses were stamped below the skull, assumedly those of Jesus and the two thieves by His sides. There was also an inscription “Satan has power”. My guy was horrified, stupefied. He almost ran away but for the Holy Spirit in me that made me tell him “Boy, fear not, stand still! Why are you scared stiff? Even women watch this show”. I didn’t blame him anyway, for he is not a village brought-up like Yours Aniefiokly. Na Mbakara boy.
According to Chief Okon Ibanga: “Even before the advent of colonial rule and Christianity in Nigeria, Ekpo Society had been used as a central power in Ibibio nation of the Southern Nigeria. This cultural society not only served as government of the people but also regulated the conduct of the people, rules and orders that maintained the peace in the land. With the arrival of the new government and the spread of Christianity, Ekpo Society was still in force in most part of the land, till this day”.
Apart from the ecstatic and euphoric atmosphere that the play brings, if well harnessed, Ekpo Cultural Festival could be a high revenue earner for our State, let’s stop being pretentiously religious. Borrow a leaf from what happens in Oshiogbo (Osun State) and sister-State (Calabar’s Tinapa). Mr. Commissioner and Mr. Minister of Commerce and Tourism, are you there?.
It has been said, not truly, but with a possible approximation to the truth that every rod or staff of government is usually crooked at the top. Goodluck Ebele Jonathan’s was, President Muhamadu Buhari’s isn’t. Anytime we have such rod or staff that cannot comfort us, I’m suggesting that we turn its top or the handle downwards. I say: If our leaders cannot lead us aright, let us go back to that antique system where masquerades took the places of government officials, for masquerades know nothing about avarice. And judging from Prophet Ubokudom, an Akata Meastro from Ikot Ayan Ediene, Ikono, we seem to fear masquerades more than CHRIST because we cannot see Him: “Afo umaha eyen-uka, umaha eyen-uso, enye afo akutde mi, udunam didie ukuma Jesus, enye afo oyomde yom”. If masquerades fail, let us use animals like Old major and Snowball of Eric Blair’s Animal Farm. Animals are governed by natural laws which are un-influenced by either sentiments or prejudice. They are such agreeable friends that ask no questions nor pass criticisms. They have none of our humanity’s vices. Where men, animals or masquerades fail, the best to do for this greed ridden, ruled-and-ruined fatherland is to be fervently prayerful. If we find it tiresome praying everytime, let us pray once a year, then other days we just say “ditto”. Whether we are human beings, animals or masquerades, God will hearken to our prayers because He created all of us amidst the good, the bad, the ugly, even the bizarre. He created the grains and the tares and ordered that they grow together until harvest time.

Ojei, Ojei, Ojei – bari-o! bari-o! Uwe
Ojei, Ojei, Ojei – bari Edisana eti Spirit! Uwe!
Ojei, Ojei, Ojei – bari, Idem mme Ette nnyin! Uwe!
Ojei, Ojei, Ojei – Ofuri! Uwe! Mban nsin eyen! Uwe!
Idung isongo-o! Iyaa!
Isong, isong, isong – Isong adod ukana!
Adod ukana Isong! Oh! Oh! Oh! – Oh!