Just last week, I was having a conversation with my three year old and she was reporting her dad to me. Apparently, just that morning her dad, had promised to get her something and by the evening she was already getting worked up that her dad hadn’t kept his promise.
So I went ahead to remind her that he had made the promise just that morning and at the moment of her chat, he wasn’t back home yet and so there was no way of knowing whether or not he had got her the gift. I ended by saying” Briona, don’t be like your mum. Don’t be as impatient as your mum”. As thoughtful as possible, I said to her, “I have the tendency to want to see what I want here and now, but God is teaching me to be more patient”. On this subject, I could go on and on. Today, my focus is on writing about our capacity to bring the best out of our kids. Many parents question their capacity to help or parent their kids into what God wants them to be.
I recall having this amazing conversation with a friend as she shared her parent’s mannerism in raising them to love the Lord. It was purely amazing and beautiful but it was not the way I was doing with my kids. So, I started wondering whether I was missing something. Then, by the help of the Holy Spirit, I realized that there was a unique way that God made me. This means that I and someone else can be pursuing the same goals but our approaches will be different and in the end we have a great outcome. But then I learnt also that it wasn’t about the approaches as it was about principles. Never judge yourself because you didn’t parent like your perfect looking neighbor. If you imbibe the principle then you can do the job. To raise an honest child (which is the principle), you can decide to have your kids say a daily affirmation on honesty, you can decide to have teams at home that check on each other etc… The most important factor is raising an honest child.
The second factor, I would like to share is the role of Holy Spirit in the matter. Since, I began the parenting, a recurring lesson I have acquired is the knowing that God doesn’t just love my children but that He created them. By creating them, He is the only one on earth that knows their future, where they should school, what kind of environment they should learn or be raised in. This means that you alone will never be good enough to raise your children into their fullest potential. So, you should be spirit led in every single decision that involves your children. God led but not trend led, friend led, ego led etc. God knows exactly where your child should be and what they should be allowed to go through. Just like you, He is building them up and you must let Him attain His fullest work. When we let God, then through our hands, he works good enough parenting.
Finally, never forget that God never called us to be perfect before our children. Like in the opening of this blog, I shared about my work on patience. Our children need to learn about our struggles and how God helped us overcome them. They need to learn from our relationship with God. They must see us before and after challenges and the difference that God makes. This does not imply that we let down out guards and portray ourselves disrespectfully before our kids but we should be able to tell tales of all that we have had to deal with and those we are dealing with. So there is no need telling your child that you were always first in your class.
Please share other driving points that helps you approach parenting responsibilities and expectations boldly. We would be glad to hear from you.
ABOUT IRENE BANGWELL
Vivacious Wife| Passionate Mom |Children and Teens Coach| Showing kids possibilities| Writer| TV Show Hosts |Creative Director www.handzandmindz.com | Founder: Green and Gold Center for Teens Creativity| Co-founder www.yiccafrica.org| Facebook: Essienanwan Irene Bangwell| Twitter:@IreneBangwell| Email: irene.bangwell@gmail.com| God’s Masterpiece.
No comments:
Post a Comment