Thursday, 19 February 2015

Ntukude: Ph.D in idiocy

Ntukude: Ph.D  in idiocy

I can still remember though with obscured memory the day Godwin Ntukude was confirmed a member of the State Executive Council, precisely as a commissioner. With his bulky and wieldy body frame, he entered into the chamber of the state parliament with trudging steps. He was the fourth of the nominees to be cleared – the newly “ordained” ones who had obtained favour in the eyes of the governor – who now has matured into a full-fledged emperor. “So finally, his loquaciousness has found him a job in the political circle” …I had soliloquized as I watched the guy characteristically embark on a narrative voyage of self-grandeur on why he should be confirmed for the appointment. Delusions of grandeur, I should perhaps add. A well known character, it was only a settler who didn’t know Ntukude’s appointment owed solely to his unmatched obsequious flattery and not whatever academic qualifications he has obtained. 

While there has never been a remnant of doubt that the Uruan-born former carpenter has always been a wattle and daub brain, in the last few weeks, he has added another negative to his profiling. Indeed, he is fast metamorphosing into a schizophrenic patient whose condition is slipping gradually but steadily into critical. He needs as much help as society can afford him. If medically, it doesn’t work, spiritual solution could. Or have we no faith in God? As Akpabio’s era goes into its autumn and not unaware that he lacks real political value, Ntukude has braced the tape of desperation in trying to maintain relevance in the assumed next order. Frankly, I hold no issues against an Udom era but I strongly disagree with that stomach-turning process from which he emerged on the platform of the ruling party. Neither Akpabio nor his family own Akwa Ibom people or the state. And so to attempt to force his successor on us, not through appeal but by coercion is where I draw my line. After looting us to the death and ruling with iron fist, the last the people would want to see is the vestiges of Akpabio after May 29. This is no case to support any other candidate. In the present galaxy, there is really no star. But situations compel compromise; it forces decisions and choices on humans. And choice, we must make and then live with it thereafter.

After been fed to his fill with the state cake, baked at Wellington Bassey Way end and eaten gluttonously by our feudal superiors. The transport commissioner has succeeded in bouncing back to the scene not in a spectacular fashion though. Not because of any great achievement but more from his talent to become a turncoat and play the chameleon with ease. I admit, Ntukude has shamed all of us who think prostitution is immoral. In his current capacity, he has proved that political prostituting can be rewarding. Like a call girl in a red light district who offers her body without qualms to any client who can pick her bills, the Uruan-born politician has over the years, evolved into a character that has no problem mortgaging whatever remains of his soul for an invitation to the dining table. This definition of him is hardly helped by the fact that he seems very comfortable with that way of his life – a way of life that sane men should abhor.

With elections just days away, it is not at all strange that Ntukude has adorned his ignoble garb, is at his disgusting best, and doing just what he knows how best to do. His recent media interviews and public statements tell yet again the brand of a political being he is. His shallow analysis of issues, unlettered pattern of presentation, crude and flippant speeches are familiar high-ringing alarms. Whenever Ntukude talks, he hardly says anything decipherable and worth listening to. All he does is bark…all noise like a prodded hunting dog. Perhaps, his touting disposition was the compelling criterion his employer – himself guilty of levity – engaged him in the ministry of motor parks where he has easily flourished, fitting in with his juniors in the touting entrepreneurship.  Man must chop, this unarguably, is Ntukude’s racing principle in life. Fully aware that he is sorely deficient in political worth, he attempts to make it up in fawning, servile behaviour.

With a man who is known for always opening his mouth wide in other to be fed and for whoever that can buy him buttered sandwich, we can expect that Mr. transport commissioner will swing sides immediately if the Udom’s boat hit the rocks. If Helen Esuene wins, Ntukude will regale us with a vision he saw about a wife becoming a governor years after her husband had been a military governor. Helen will become God-sent. If Umana wins, Ntukude will tell us he always knew power will never shift to Eket because Umana was anointed by God to succeed Akpabio. Whether Udom wins or not, soon, he will demonize Akpabio. He did it to former governor Victor Attah. There is no guarantee he would not do it to Akpabio.

 The contracts and other goodies that he benefitted from Attah’s administration – prominently, the one for the fixing of the interiors of Le Meridien Hotel and Golf Resort meant nothing to him once Attah “fell”. That bag of conscience still hangs over his neck. Like Femi Fani Kayode, the Uruan man is a certified chameleon. Of a truth, if he can redirect his chameleonic talent to the business sector, then, he would be able to at least, resuscitate Unique Furnitures – his defunct carpentry business, so we could begin to see him as the industrialist that he told the lawmakers he is during his screening. He won’t have no excuse not to go back to his wood business once the partying is over. As transport commissioner, he has made enough cash to buy himself a brand new hammer, nails, chisel and saw.

He can be likened to an Igbo dealer in tokunbo automobiles. Once a vehicle parks off and can no longer function to serve its purpose, Ntukude readily rips out the functional parts of the car for sale to any willing patroniser. Spare parts politician, isn’t he?
Otobong Sampson is Head Consultant, O’al-Kachi Media and PR

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