Mr right, a word with you

BY ANIEFIOK ESSAH

You may be greater than me  educationally and professionally but, having seen more days and garnered more experiences than you, I am sure I know too well that you do not know everything. Ifiok ikemme owo. For this reason, I want to let you know a few things, so that you do not “perish for lack of knowledge”. I prefer using the word “know” in place of “advise” because I learnt a lesson from your “Master” when I advised him seven years ago. Instead of heeding my pieces of brotherly advice and wise counsels of men-of-God or men who genuinely loved him, he ignored all and started growing larger than life. Just like the Master or Julius Caesar, you can as well be “un-moved” but, if I fail to tell you something that you should know, I am no true man:

Mr. Right, it is not yet your right time to govern Akwa Ibom State. Those who want something from you, and only pretend loving you, can stone me to death for saying this. But it is natural in me to tell a friend or loved one what must be told, even if it offends him. It is unfortunate you never saw it coming – disappointment. You didn’t see the body-languages of Akwa Ibom people; you didn’t see the handwritings on the wall. The reason might have been that you never spent your own kobo on campaigns. All the millions of Naira used in advertorials – hand bills, car stickers, bill boards, radio jingles etc – were from Zenith bank or Akwa Ibom State coffers.

They used superlatives or colorful words and songs to describe or adjectify everything about you, and you happily fell prey to those adorned words. Shakespeare’s Decius said “When I tell him he hates flatterers, he says he does, being then most flattered”. MR.UGE, you have been flattered with “Udom is right”, Udom is neither left nor wrong”, “Udom is correct” etc. They have even composed and waxed a song for you – “Udom is right, he’s right and fair; Oh! Happy day, the day of joy; Udom is right, he’s right and fair, Oh! Happy day of Udom”. They have even ordered you to march, like a school child – “Left, right; left, right; left, right!...”, all to define what Udom or Right is. Are you a Puppet or Fella’s Zombie? “Udom no go march unless you tell am to march”. No, no, no! They can’t be wrong and get right. It’s not your caliber of person that should be so fooled.

From my gathered public opinions, your people (Akwa Ibom people) love you flawlessly. They say you are the best qualified candidate but for an only excuse that Eka Theresa discovered you and handed you over to her uncommon husband. Akwa Ibom people vehemently resists any man or woman imposed on them; they are extremely vexed that anybody should play on their collective intelligence. So, my word to you or what I want you to know is… “Yem abubid ebot idaha eyo mikimme. Kuyak imam usak”.

You have an intimidating profile. Your status in corporate banking is enviable. I’m not a spokesperson or mouthpiece of your people but, from snooping around, I have heard them say they heartily love you and are proud of you. They say you are impeccably handsome; they like those red lips of yours, the eye-glasses, your humility, your intelligence, name them. They respect you for reaching, through managerial prudence, such position in the banking world. They say you should have remained in the bank and risen to the rank of Central Bank Governor as late Clement Nyong Isong (also an ONNA man) did, instead of being hoodwinked into an impossible mission. The people are happy that you didn’t resign your work, they are advising you to return to it.

 They are advising that you pack in this enterprise that will not thrive on April 11. The number 11 is inside the number 2011. It’s a number that coupon pools players (Money – for – Money) say “Cannot draw” or “e-work not”. Go back to Zenith Bank, my brother, then come back alone and re-contest, after eight or sixteen years. You are still very young, after all. Akwa Ibom people want you to be Governor of Central Bank as well as Governor of Akwa Ibom State. Don’t forget that when you will re-apply, they will ask you “principal, na you alone waka come?” So, go and prepare for your second coming that you will not be introduced to your people by any son of Adam or daughter of Eve. Go and prepare for your double honours. Meanwhile, congratulate yourself that you have politically tested your popularity, and the people have scored you very high. To pass with distinction, the people’s final advice to you is to concede defeat as Uncle Jona did.

This Saturday is going to be very pleasing day to honest men. Why not join us? Best wishes. 

 Aniefiok Essah – 08020945205