Letter to Valerie Ebe: Few days to go, are you proud of yourself?

BY UBONG SAMPSON

Compliments of the season, Your Honour and  may the looming peace and redemption of  mankind that comes with the approaching Easter season rest entirely with you.

Let me start by congratulating you, Your Honour, for an anticipated successful completion of your tenure as deputy governor. It is no mean feat doing what your predecessor could not do, moreso, taking it to a logical end. The last of this kind of record was when Roberto Di Matteo took popular English club, Chelsea half way from Andre Villa Boas and ended up conquering Europe. As easy as it sounds, try asking Avam Grant, the man who earlier attempted making similar history and he will tell you a flipside experience. Your Honour, if these names and events sound strange to you, I will understand, but since there are more than a million and one football fanatics out there, with a perceived few even close to you, consulting one of them in this regard, me-knows, would be no less a helpful venture.

Your Honour, may I also thank you for having joined the operation “send Etinan out of Mkpat Enin” political fight. I need not go into details, as you sure have same fully at your disposal. But then, that was one fight I had to join voluntarily because, of a truth, we needed to stop Etinan forces from further ruling our area of origin… (Idoho k’usiene); and I’m glad we eventually won. And though we may differ in thoughts and deeds as regards a lot of issues, I was happy that for once, our reasoning (even from distant pedestals) conformed towards seeing the then urgent need to sweep Etinan out of Mkpat Enin.

Your Honour, I recently noticed that your party, the PDP’s reconciliation committee in charge of Mkpat Enin has been doing commendably well, as evident in the reuniting of some formerly known political enemies with that of you and the council chairman being the first example. Whether you played a role in saving him from a jail term or he was promised any political favour, I am yet to find out. However, I am only praying that this reconciliation doesn’t stop you from reporting the huge debts owed his councilors to His Excellency, the governor for urgent solution.

Your honour, I still recall he last I addressed issues concerning you, and which was in a rather conclusive manner. Lots of negative reactions (I wasn’t bothered though) came my way from your protagonists. Even your then press secretary, the Late Ikemesit Smith (of blessed memory) I recall, had called to ask how I would feel if someone referred to mum (assuming she was a public figure like you) as a waste bin or a Waste Pipe. Well, it was quite unfortunate that mum, just as my reply to him went, was as at then, not a public figure, and (consequent upon her preference for the reticent kind of life) may never be. But in any case where she is, whoever cares is very free to hold his/her opinion about her, like I held mine about you, provided such pays due regard to the thick boundary line between ‘expression of opinion’ and ‘statement of fact’. 

Your Honour, I have recently developed a strong phobia for taking too many calls in a day, most especially when the said calls are likely not to end me up in the bank. Hence, my resolve to save myself the anticipated calls after the publication of this piece by only asking questions and numbering the points… thereby, making the job easier for your defendants who as at the time of your reading this, will be phoning–in or counter-writing in defense of you.

Trust me Your Honour, I had long realized how deep the virus of non-performance and redundancy had eaten into the minds of most public office holders in Mkpat Enin, my area of origin which you are now also part of. I had also realized that irrespective of how much fuss made, these set of leaders will always remain as unchanging as a stone. This is why I had long resorted to bother less about issues concerning it, since the end of your generation and its reign was fast approaching, but for my recent visit to your ward, (Ukpum Minya-Ward 1) which forced a temporal change of mind on me.
Your honour, I am not a governor, so I don’t do town hall meetings; but something took me to the official hall of your town and all I got were negative surprises. Your Honour, it might interest you to know that I and a host of others who could not believe their eyes and ears, could barely survive a 5-minute stretch stay in that official hall of your town.

You may call it a ward centre, if you so wish; but the said hall, from its size, poor standard and ventilation, is not meant to contain more than 70 persons. and being forced to contain more than 200 persons, made its condition most unbearable. How you were able to make it through the over twenty (20) minutes you spent there, till this moment, remains a question only for the gods. 

This is why I am forced to ask, Your Honour, with the way things are; with your inability to change things to meet the expectations of your people, are you proud of yourself? Get it not twisted, Your Honour, I know, we know, everyone knows as much as understand that the Mkpat Enin electorates had very little or nothing at all to do with your emergence as deputy governor.  But then, are you aware that there are some humanitarian/community services you should not ignore mainly because of their very cheap costs when compared to the office you hold and which when ignored, might bring huge discredit to your person and your office?

Your, Honour, I have heard stories of your philanthropic exploits from the Valerie Ebe protagonists. I have been told that your charitable works extend to people you barely know and even to spirits in the land of the dead. These, even you will agree, sound like the kind of tales we hear under moonlight. But tried as much to consume the tales of your philanthropic expeditions, one question I could find no answer to was, if you were as angelic as these stories present you to be, why did you have to run to the village on the eve of the PDP rally for a meeting you convened, same meeting you bribed your people with five thousand (5,000) naira each, pleading with them not to boo you at the rally when you mount the podium to speak? Your Honour, good leaders never get scared of the unknown. 

And assuming someone, for whatever reason, considers giving these tale-like stories a chance, what do you think would happen if same visits your ward and hometown to behold the ugly sights of a retarded hall, untarred roads, very impoverished persons as indigenes and boreholes non-functional due to lack of maintenance? Or do you not believe in the saying that charity begins at home?

At the Mkpat Enin version of PDP rally, you had failed to make good use of your speaking minutes by not doing what was expected of you, as you failed to mention in details, the privileges Mkpat Enin has been denied; you even failed to make the governor (or whoever represented him) bury his head in shame by telling him that the road to his deputy’s countryhome has not yet left its usually known deplorable state. Why, Your Honour? Could it be that you were not aware of your area’s dying need for government attention, or were you being intimidated by the presence your indirect boss, the first lady?
Also Your Honour, during the same PDP rally, you were quoted in a public confession that our deputy governor in disguise, the first lady single handedly made you deputy governor. Could this be why you had long forgotten the rights and powers of your office in the hands of the first lady? Or is it your way of paying due loyalty as a sign of gratitude to your benefactor? Your Honour, maybe you are only doing your own part of the agreement… only God knows what was used to bind you into such agreement that is making you so extra cautions, especially in an era when Mbiam has been made the order of the day.

Your Honour, have you been to the Annang, especially the Abak, Ikot Ekpene, Etim Ekpo Essien Udim part of the state lately? Are you even aware of the new heaven in Akwa Ibom called Ukana Ikot Ntuen? If yes; then whilst your boss, the governor and his commissioners from these areas will be beating their chest in pride over the projects, goodies and empowerments they have attracted to their areas, would you also be proud to do same over the sorry state of your area? Well, if your conscience allows you the freedom to it, who am I to stop you?

Your Honour, some fifteen months back, a group of youths in your area publicly passed a vote of no confidence on you, accusing you of not living up to expectation. Rather than go back home to appropriately end the battle at the homefront, you preferred it through the back door, sponsoring public abuses and castigations on the youths and bribing off a few members of the youth group whose integrity could not stand the aroma of your peanut inducement. Now that you have just less than 75 days to your exit from office, yet, nothing useful and corporeal in the area can be traced to your efforts, would you so honestly agree with me that by virtue of your never-willing-to-change timid approach to matters concerning your area, those youths have been vindicated?
Finally Your Honour, may I commend you for the political strength you have possessed, same which has projected you thus far. Only that the said political strength vanished when it would have been used to fight Mkpat Enin into the favour list of the government. But be that as it may, Mkpat Enin should still be so proud of you, Ma. Mkpat Enin should be proud of you for representing it so well. Mkpat Enin should be proud of because having envied our sister area, Ikot Abasi for about five (5) years, you only came to prove to us that there was really nothing to envy for. And as you prepare to call it quits with your office, I am sure, so very sure that your good works are waiting to be recorded into history. Until then, my highest regards to you remains intact.

UBONG SAMPSON IS A PUBLIC/POLITICAL/CURRENT/SOCIAL/ACADEMIC AFFAIRS ANALYST.