Junior “in” Philadelphia

BY UBONG SAMPSON

Just a fortnight ago, I noticed photos of Akwa Ibomites storm different social media platforms in Philadelphia backgrounds. Ordinarily, this would have been no issue, since anyone with the financial permit can find his way to any planet of the world. Consequently, I had taken my mind away from it until the small-in-age-but-old-in-brain Junior, my neighbour’s eight (8) year old boy who has always a stubborn, yet very interesting friend of mine, came up with the issue, and suddenly forced my interest on it.

I got home a few days ago after a very stressful outing to meet Junior lost in a play that apparently was giving him and his playmates so much fun. Owing to my overstressed body state, I decided to pass in to the house unnoticed by him, so as to avoid his disturbance for the evening. But unknown to me, Junior had seen me but decided to allow me pass first before sneaking behind me. And I had barely stepped into the house before seeing him step in right after me.

“This boy won’t just give me some breathing space”, I had said to myself... but pretending all was well, I finally asked:

Me: I thought you were enjoying your fun time with your mates?
Junior: yes I was. But is that why you sneaked in without bothering to say hello to me?

Me: you were so engrossed in the fun, so I decided not to distract you.
Junior: well, I saw you pass and I thought I was too little in the crowd that you could not notice me; so I decided to come alone so you can notice me.
Me: Ok. Now I have noticed you. So you can now rejoin your mates. I am sure they are expecting you back soonest.
Junior: Uncle, there is an issue we need to discuss that is more important than the play. The issue came up earlier today and I was eagerly awaiting your return.

Me: Whatever the issue is, I hope it is not political.
Junior: What if it is?
Me: You will have to reserve it for another time, because I don’t have the strength for that now.
Junior: Ok Uncle. You must be very tired, that I understand. But I’m afraid this cannot be a story for another day.
Me: What exactly is it that cannot be suspended?
Junior: Uncle, it about the recent relocation of Akwa Ibom to Philadelphia in the United States.

Me: That means you are presently in Philadelphia, because last I checked, where you are sitting was in the same Akwa Ibom that has been moved to Philadelphia. So is it not a good thing that you could go to Philadelphia without a visa and without buying an air ticket?
Junior: Uncle why are you making me sound senseless?
Me: Junior, you sounded senseless on your own and I had no role to play in that.

Junior: But Uncle, you should by now be able to differentiate between issues I can joke with and the ones I cannot. Anyway, are you aware of one AKISAN convention that recently held in Philadelphia which the state government sponsored some persons to attend?
Me: Of course I am. That is an annual occasion by Akwa Ibom indigenes in the United States. So what is wrong with that?
Junior: There is actually nothing wrong in our brothers in the diaspora getting together for whatever purpose. My problem is with the government having to sponsor some persons who should have been busy working for public interest in the state, on a trip that had very little or no economic benefit to state.
Me: What makes you think the trip was of no economic benefit to the state? Wherever you got the news from, did you not also get it that the governor was at the convention and had during his speech, marketed the state to private investors. Now, assuming he was able to convince one or two private investors and they decide to try our state with their investment(s); will it not be an economic benefit?

Junior: Convince you say, Uncle? Were the likes of Bill Gates and other owners of multinationals at the convention?
Me: That I can’t tell, Junior. But I believe someone who knows someone who knows another who knows an entrepreneur relevant to our industrialisation needs was there. So, by whichever way, there is a possibility of the news getting to the target(s). And lest you forget, the our governor, Mr Udom Emmanuel is governor of Akwa Ibom State who governs every indigene of the state irrespective of their location. So like he would attend any indigenous function he is invited to within the state, so is he free to attend any outside, especially when it concerns Akwa Ibom indigenes.

Junior: Ok Uncle. Let me pretend to believe you, but your points has only answered for the governor. How about the rest who were sponsored to the trip; what would you say, necessitated their attendance?
Me: I think you will have to find that out from them.
Junior: Uncle, trying to evade this part of the question will not change the fact that it was a total waste of resources to sponsor the rest of the people to that convention. These are the same people who hold public offices in various arms of the state government. Most of them, since assuming office, are yet to record one feat but rather than sit back to the numerous challenges in the state, they were encouraged on a fanfare that has nothing related to the roles they were assigned/mandated to play.

Me: But Junior, the people you are referring to only made up the governor’s entourage.
Junior: What entourage, Uncle? So in other words, you will support the government to sponsor the whole state to a trip abroad in the name of the governor’s entourage?
Me: That is an outrageous exaggeration, Junior.
Junior: If that is how you choose to take it. But you will not fail to agree that the number of persons involved here was enough to make at least a reasonable sample size for a population as large as that of the state. Even if the governor must go on such trips with an entourage, would it not be moderate to take only a few relevant aides along with him? And to further prove the wastage, the governor’s newly appointed aide on youth mobilization, the one they call Aniefiok Wilson Iwaudofia was all over the social media with photos of himself and other beneficiaries of the wastage in Philadelphia, like someone who went on an adventure or modelling outing.

Me: Junior, taking photo shots at rarely-occuring events as that is just a norm usually done to keep the memories.
Junior: The issue is not on the photos he took; but posting it on different social media platforms was uncalled for because as a new arrival public figure, such photos is so likely to attract unnecessary public attention, and as well prove the uselessness of his presence at the event. If he needed to keep memories of his first Philadelphia experience, or the only he will ever have, like he made the public believe; he would have simply made a something-to-remember album and kept same for his children, perhaps, to challenge them to strife hard in life, so as to meet, or better still, surpass their father’s Philadelphia record.

Me: I understand, but you...
Junior: (cuts in) in fact, I have come to agree with your friend, Asteroid Bassey on why the governor needs a Special or Personal Assistant on Common Sense.
Me: Haba Junior, Asteriod, I am sure, was only joking on that; and I see no reason you should take it serious.
Junior: Uncle, he may meant a joke when he said that, but there is so much sense in that joke.
Me: How do you mean?
Junior: Uncle, only an assistant on common sense would help the governor realise that no sane man would abandon his burning house and go on a bush hunting spree with his household.

Me: You are speaking in parables, boy.
Junior: Yes Uncle. That is wise Jesus said that a word is enough for the wise. And nowadays, even half a word, is enough for a wise. In essence, I am saying that an assistant on such matters would have advised the governor against wasting resources on frivolities when the state he governs is at the risk of being struck with the Egyptian kind of femine. By the way Uncle, is the governor aware that there is a case at the tribunal challenging the credibility of the election that brought him into office?

Me: What kind of dumb question is that? If the governor is not aware of a case threatening continued stay in office, who then will be?
Junior: Dumb it may sound to you, but I the question is necessary because with the wilderness kind of hunger in the street, I am wondering how he intends to reclaim the mandate to govern the state, should the tribunal in its verdict, nullify the April 11 governorship election and there is a rerun. And again, this is where the common sense assistant would have been of immense help... at least, to put to his understanding that even if he escapes the tribunal, getting reelected for a second term stay will be a near insurmountable task for him, unless something is done, and on time, about the current situation in the street.

Me: But the governor is out to stop the conventional system of dropping ready made fish in the street. Rather, he wants to lead those in the street to the river where fishes are being caught and show them ways to catch the fishes and make food for themselves.
Junior: Well, the idea is good enough, but then, putting an abrupt end to the old system is not much advisable. There should have been a proper arrangement to put the change through a gradual process. I am sure an aide on common sense would have known this.

Me: Are you indirectly marketing yourself as a perfect fit to that office?
Junior: (Laughs) you and I know too well that the governor will not even think of me while considering my advice. Besides, I hope you do not intend to publish this private discussion we are having.
Me: Your guess is as good as mine.
Junior: What if I demand that you keep this a secret?
Me: There is nothing secret in what we have discussed so far. Besides, I may unconsciously put it to writing and send for publication.
Junior: Exactly the way you have been doing in the past, thereby making me appear like one of the anti governments, when in the real sense, I only offer harmless caution.

Me: Are you afraid that your words might be used against you? You and politics are sworn enemies and your future dream lies only within activism and law. So you have no reason to fear for the future; after all, activists who have no business with politics are known for their uncompromised stance on issues of public concern.
Junior: Uncle, one can only plan and hope for the future but cannot design it. Anything can take me to anywhere at anytime. And that reminds me, I heard recently that Ikot Ekpene Senatorial District has no one representing it at the Red Chambers. How true is this?

Me: So what is our former governor, Godswill Akpabio doing at the senate? Representing himself?
Junior: I heard he is now struggling the Uyo Senatorial District seat with OBA.

Me: Junior, whoever gave you such information is no doubts, very sick; but you must be sicker to have believed such tale. Everyone knows Godswill Akpabio was uncommonly elected to go continue his uncommon transformation in the senate for the senatorial district of Ikot Ekpene, while OBA was elected to represent that of Uyo.

Junior: Uncle, so I believed, until INEC accused them both of attempting to confuse it by applying for qualification to stand election in the same senatorial district in their forms which had the same district but written in different ways.

Me: Oh! You mean the error that was spotted in the ex governor’s form?
Junior: Or! I thought you were hearing this for the first time.
Me: I heard of it, though not the way you presented it. But then, that was just a mere error.
Junior: I disagree with you, Uncle. That was more than a mere error. You can call it an uncommon error. You know, our former governor is so passionate about doing uncommon things that even when he commits an error, it has to be uncommon. And to me, that is more of a madness from the gods on whom they want to kill.
Me: Junior, I refuse to comment further on that.
Junior: You are even sleeping, Uncle. Anyway, I guess its about time I took my leave.
Me: Yes Junior. And thanks for reading my mind.
Junior: Goodbye Uncle. I’ll see you later.
Me: Goodbye too. And please, may your common sense remind you to shut the door after you.